it's you, it's you, it's αll for you, everything i do, i tell you αll the time, heαven is α plαce on eαrth with you. ♥

when i'm home you're so dead - mayday parade.♥
 
in a pretty good mood. (:
i don't feel like writing a long ass caption, so PM me. (: or start an RP?
 
@queensarax bestieeee. ♥
@zeoriginalgoofygoober WHERE DID YOU GO, BABE?
@selena-gomez-follower
@jennifer-katniss-lawrence-anon <33
@jonasbrothers-anonymous
@justin-bieber-anon94
@thatjoshfontaine because you tagged me in a set, soo. (:

goodbye, my almost lover,
goodbye, my hopeless dream.
i'm trying not to think about you,
can't you just let me be?
so long, my luckless romance.
my back is turned on you.
should've known you'd bring me heartache.
almost lovers always doooo.♥
~almost lover - a fine frenzy.
 
^ that song is my new obsession.
because it's so relevant.
i'm hurting again. i can't take it anymore. the boy i like, who i've been absolutely crazy about is falling for my best friend & not me. i never cried so hard. he said he'd probably date me, even though he told me it was a hard time, i told him i would wait for him. he said i didn't have to, but i am anyway. or was. then we talked and it didn't go too well. i only told 4 people the details, and i guess there's 5 if you include him. i'm not telling anyone else because it's so hard for me to realize, that i thought he might actually have feelings for me, but he doesn't. i don't want better. i don't need better. i just want him. he's not a jerk. he didn't want to hurt me. he felt so bad. he still does. now it's MY choice if we talk now. my choice.
 
i don't want to stop talking to him completely. he's one of the closest things i have to a best guy friend ever since billy lied to me. he could make me smile when noone else could. & i thought i made him happy too, but i guess not in the exact way i wanted to, make him happy, i mean. i'm just SO heartbroken & now i have to go to school and face him. he sits next to me in history and we used to always talk. now i'll have to deal with me avoiding meeting his eyes, and not talking to him. it's gonna be so hard, and oh so painful. ALL of my friends thought he liked me or had feelings for me. they "saw the way he looked at me". but i guess that wasn't anything. i just... i'm gonna go now. i'm sorry, but this is so hard to talk about, so i'm not gonna go on anymore.
 
i don't really have anything else to say, so whatever.
 
@queensarax
@zeoriginalgoofygoober
@arianuhgrandeanon
@yourmicah-xo
@selena-gomez-follower
@justin-bieber-anon94
@jonasbrothers-anonymous
i don't know who else to tag, so.. sucks.

hey.
sorry i haven't updated in awhile. and to be honest, you guys are lucky i'm here. i almost killed myself on tuesday night. here's one reason why.
 
"Nothing is helping me. Just because people have it better or worse doesnt mean I can't be upset too. I'm constantly worrying about everyone else and their pain and their hurt and their heartbreak and trying to help them and when then when i dontI feel like shit. I'm seriously so tired of not feeling good enough or pretty enough for anyone. I'm tired of pretending to be happy for people who don't even care if I'm upset. after all, nobody cares unless you're pretty or dying. and honestly. that jar from Kati has helped me a lot. but that's one person. one person I know who truly cares. if I kill myself tonight no one is gonna post on my Facebook wall saying how much fun they had with me or how much they'll miss me. no one is going to say wear whatever color for kaitlynn tomorrow because she died. no one. if they do I would be shocked. more people at this school have said bad things about me over nice things. and
I'll be grateful for a moment at the nice things they say but as soon as they insult me it hits me like the sky is falling and I break down. I get happy over little things but I also get upset over little things too and you and Kati always get mad at me for it. I can't help how sensitive I am. I'm upset and no one understands. I've been through my own things that no one understands and I've done things that not a lot of people know. it's not as easy as you think to just STOP. to just stop all these bad suicidal thoughts in your head. negative thoughts are only caused by negative actions. and sorry but half the things going on in my life aren't happy. I don't have a perfect body like you. I don't have perfect friends like you. I'm not as perfect as I think you are. no boy would kill to have me but I bet they would for you. I'm nobody's favorite anything. no one worries about me or cares to randomly tell me how much they mean to me. I'm sorry but I just want everything to stop. I want to be happy but I'm tired of fking it. I'm never genuinely happy and I don't think I'll ever be. sorry."
^ i was bawling my eyes out when i sent that message to my close friend Gabby. Then.. my world was spinning when she sent this in return. ;;
 
"Your pathetic. I could say so much to you about that message. But you don't give two shits. You have no idea how good you have it. Sure. You went through shitty times. And I bet I don't understand them. You know what I'm not even gonna keep this going.
lol "nobody cares" = not true at all. Btw not everybody actually barley anybody gets remembrance day. And kaitlynn. FYI. I'm not perfect so shut your mouth about that. Thanks I guess."
 
I wasn't even going to commit because of her. I felt like a fawk up and that I never did anything right. I told her all of that, to say what was going on, and that's what I got in return. My friend Kati was there for me afterwards and defended me and talked me out of taking my own life. But that night was so bad and I can't even believe it happened. For now, I'm not telling anyone how I feel. Maybe my friend Kati, but that's it. She's the only one who seems to care. I'm just gonna push all my sadness to the side and force happiness because it's too much for me to handle. I don't know why I tell all of you this. It makes me feel better to hear nice things from people who don't know me, don't know what I've done, etc. So there.
 
I didn't feel like making my own set, so I used a template. So here. Love you all. ♥
 
@elizabeth-gillies-anon
@queensarax
@zeoriginalgoofygoober
@swiftastical
@selena-gomez-follower
@yourmicah-xo < love your name. omg.
@yourcharlie-anon
@justin-bieber-anon94

this set is being dumb and not showing up. what the fukk.
 
of mice & men. ♥
 
sometimes, i get into moods where all i want to do is sleep, because then non can hurt me & i can't feel any emotion. i just want to sleep and never wake up. honestly. i feel like life is just not worth it. you live every single day, trying to be happy. you have one chance. why only one? there are people who hurt you and people who leave. it's so stupid because either you live or you don't. that's all there is to it. what's the point of living when you're just gonna die anyway? i was seriously thinking this last night as i fell asleep. it's scary to think that all of this is real and half the time, all we do is cry and try to be happy when deep down we know we're not. i try so hard for soo many things, and in the next 10 years, it probably won't mean a single thing. i just wanna run away and live in the worlds i created, the worlds i write about when i feel alone, because this real world is nothing but bs. but no matter what, no matter who i see or what i think about, i just want to give up because it all seems too hard. i'm always the one hurt, holding back tears, and trying not to speak because i'm choked up. i'm always the one who takes all the pain i make everyone feel and take it out on myself by cutting. i'm always the one who loves more, is scaring of losing that one person more than they are scaring of losing me. which is understandable. i'm not much. just a girl with skin and bones, a heart and too many feelings that hardly anybody cares about. i can't tell anyone because all they ever do is tell me how good i have it or how selfish they think i feel. i'm not lying when i say i'd rather run away and forget anyone than have them all grow up and forget about me first. a boy in a town an hour or so away from me, killed himself on saturday because too much was going on. all these people were posting on his facebook wall about how much they loved him and all these nice things about him when he was alive. i just want to know if anyone would ever do that for me. i'm not perfect and i hate having to deal with all these expectations everyone always has for me. yes, i cut myself, and yes i skip meals, and yes i do NOT think i am good enough for anyone, but that doesn't mean i'm not trying. i'm trying soo hard to be perfect and to stop myself from feeling this way. but it's hard to stop myself when i'm trying on my own. i can't tell anyone in my family because they'll blab to my parents and i'll get yelled at for hurting myself.
now, damn. that sure felt good to get off my chest. i just need someone to talk to for once. someone who doesn't know me in person and will help me no matter what i look like, no matter what i've said in the past, no matter how much i weigh, or if you don't like me in general. i just need someone.
 
one of you, maybe?
@elizabeth-gillies-anon < now this is what i wanted to talk to you about earlier.
@zeoriginalgoofygoober
@arianuhgrandeanon
@selena-gomez-follower
@swiftastical you help boost my self esteem.<3
@justin-bieber-anon94 you seem really sweet. k. c:
@shelbyox we don't talk much, but you're my friend.
@yourcharlie-anon
@miley-cyrus-bieber-anon-babe
@emily-osment-bieber-anon-babe
@josh-hutcherson-anon
 
thank you guize.
stay lovely. ♥
 
sorry for being such a downer. yeah well. i love you all. remember that. i'm too much of a wimp to commit suicide, so no worries. i'll be here when you all wake up in the morning.

i'm in love with lana del rey. i cannot stop listening to her. i'm sorry. just kidding. i'm really not.
 
all these love songs are really making me feel sick. my heart hurts so bad right now. wanna know why? i got played again. i liked his guy, and i have for the past two years. we were best friends and i trusted him with everything. i really liked him, so i told him how i felt, and he told me he liked me too. he said he was surprised that i told him how i felt because he liked me too. then five days later, he's acting weird, so i write him a note asking if he ever really liked me or if he hated me and you wanna know what his response was? he said he only told me that he liked me, to see if i could be trusted, and not tell anyone. i told people and he knew, so then he says "well obviously you can't be trusted". he said he only told me that because he he felt bad for me. he never liked me, he said, it was all a lie. THEN behind my back he wants to tell my BEST FAWKING FRIEND that i'm not a good friend and that he "finally got rid" of me. and that it was the best day ever for him. seriously?
no one will ever understand how much my heart hurts. i gave him EVERYTHING. i feel like such an idiot. honestly. i told him how i felt, leaving nothing out, NOTHING. i told him exactly how i felt and practically gave my heart to him. & this all i get in return.
what did i do. what did i ever do to him to make him do this to me. he told everyone, he doesn't care that i'm hurting. people are calling him an ashole left and right, telling him i'll never trust him again, never be his friend again. and then he goes and tells them he doesn't care. he never did. i told him everything. every. thing. i told him about my cutting, my dad, my life at home, how i'm suicidal and how i don't want to live.
i'll never be able to open up to a guy ever again because of an ashole like him. he ruined my trust for guys completely. i'll never be able to tell a guy how i feel without getting it shoved right back in my face again. i'm so tired of crying over this guy, and he knows that i have. i told him i did. i've cut over him. i've grieved and cried and cut because of this guy. then, he tells me he likes me and i'm SO happy. then he does this to me? it's only the third day since this happened and i am still trying to believe it.
 
i apologize for my rant. if i'm gonna get judged for having my heart broken at school, then i might as well tell people who've never met me and don't know me well enough to judge my feelings. i'm sorry you guys read this, if you did. i just want you to know i'm sorry for being depressed and not ever making sets. and when i do they're shet. k.
 
follow, i guess.?
@elizabeth-gillies-anon
@zeoriginalgoofygoober
@arianuhgrandeanon
@selena-gomez-follower
@swiftastical
@justin-bieber-anon94 you never messaged me baaackk.
@yourcharlie-anon
@shelbyox
@kaitlinisenchanted
^ you're all beautiful. ok.
~ s t a y l o v e l y .
 
now time to be depressed and listen to lana del rey. bye babes.

made this on my iPod & it looks shit ikk. but I never make a set so HERE YOU GO.(:
 
in a terrible mood so no one talk to me. ~

green set todαy. c:
bαd night lαst night. i'm being bullied & i honestly cαn't tαke it αnymore. this biatch hαylee doesn't know how to leαve me αlone.. ~
αnywαy. i'm going to my friend kαti's house tonight, so excited. (:
jonαs brothers αre on right now, yαy. ♥
i'm sorry i don't mαke sets as frequently as i used to. i never feel like it αnymore hαhα.
 
PUSHIN' ME AWAAYYYY. c;
^ jonαs brothers moment dere.
 
well i'm gonnα go nowz.
bye, loves.~
 
follow these whores. ;;
@elizabeth-gillies-anon
@zeoriginalgoofygoober
@selena-gomez-follower
@kaitlinisenchanted
@perfect-imperfection11
@justin-bieber-anon94
@miley-cyrus-bieber-anon-babe
@datdemidevonneanon
@jonasbrothers-anonymous
@sh0ck-me
@flame-thrower

HELLO LOVELIES.
i know i don't come on αs much αs i used to, but i tryy. i hαd α lot going on this pαst week. & i feel like shαring it with you.
i lost my best friend emily, she sαid she couldn't stαnd the drαma i put her through, & she didn't like me "dumping my problems" on her. which was bullshit. but whαtever.
then the guy i like broke my heαrt yesterdαy & the dαy before. his nαme was jordαn αnd i thought he wαs perfect. he liked me, or so i thought, he told me i wαs beαutiful & how he "felt" αbout me. then he αsked me out on α dαte αnd i didn't wαnt to go, becαuse i would've hαd to lie to my mom since my pαrents don't let me dαte, don't αsk why cαuse idek. so then the next dαy, when we were supposed to go to the movies together, he went with thee biggest wh0re known to mαn. i cried so hαrd. he hαd told me i wαs his numer one priority, then he fucking took HER to the movies becαuse i sαid no? now guess whαt. THEY'RE DATING. i couldn't believe & i still cαn't. the boy i thought wαs mine αnd mine only wαs tαlking to other girls too, αnd he plαyed me like α musicαl instrument. /:
so yeαh. my week wαs shit. αnyone who'd cαre to mαke it better, feel free. i won't stop you. c:
 
OMFG. JELENA BROKE UP.
i wαnna cry. they were perf for eαch other. ugh. why does nothing good ever lαst?
 
HIT UP DEM PMS WHILE I'M STILL ON.~
 
Follow these beαutiful people. ♥ ;;
@elizabeth-gillies-anon ♥♥♥♥♥
@zeoriginalgoofygoober ♥♥♥
@justin-bieber-anon94 c:
@perfect-imperfection11
@miley-anonymous-xo
@selena-gomez-follower where did you go? D:
@josh-hutcherson-anon
@jonasbrothers-anonymous omfg. c:
 
{s t α y w e i r d }

HELLO PEASANTS.
yes, i know, i haven't been on in a long time, but it's because of drama... family, boys, friends. it's just way to much. i needed a break from all of it, so i came on here to talk to you whores.
how is your day going? (: message me and tell me about it, i'd love to hear.♥
listening to paramore now cause yolo. ;]
 
LET'S DO THAT ROLEPLAY, GURL. @elizabeth-gillies-anon ♥♥♥
 
follow train. ;;
@elizabeth-gillies-anon
@zeoriginalgoofygoober
@perfect-imperfection11
@selena-gomez-follower
@miley-cyrus-bieber-anon-babe
@justin-bieber-anon94
@jonasbrothers-anonymous < you guys are da cooliest jonas brothers anons that i know.. because you're the one jonas brothers anons i know. ;)
 
^ FOLLOW THOSE PEOPLE NOW. AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.♥